I don't need magic. I need TRICKS.

multiply's down again and that's so not cool. i haven't posted anything for a week now (i think).

look at me, my depth perception must be off again, you got much closer than I thought you did. cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did. it has not healed with time, it just shot down my spine. I remember how you gently smiled before you destroyed my life.

Would you find it in your heart to make this go away?

And PLEASE, i beg you. LET ME REST IN PIECES.

not all people can bottle it all up. sometimes, you just have to explode. sometimes, you want to scream your heart and tonsils out. well, maybe because you're happy. maybe because you're mad. or maybe because you're in pain.

it's not that i'm being a drama queen here. it's just that i'm not yet over it. i'm sorry if you people think that i'd be able to get over it in a short period of time. well, i guess i have to apologize to myself too. i really thought i'd be over this in a few weeks or days. i guess i'm wrong.

i'm really trying my best to move on, BELIEVE ME. it's just that... it's not easy.

know what? i have plenty of things to be thankful for. makes me realize that i take some things for granted. hahaha. some people change. and i'm trying to be one of them.

after my dad's birthday party, our family got closer than ever before. it feels great. when my mom thanked the people on the phone the day after the party, they told her that the party was great. it was different from other parties. well.. hahaha.

anyway, the worst part of this moving on thing is... waking up each day and the first thing that comes to my mind is the past, the first feeling that eats me up is bitterness. what a way to start a day.

of course, these are only challenges. i never forget to thank God every night for the wonderful things he gives me. every beginning has an end and everything that happens in this life has a reason.

I don't need anyone else.

All I need is You, God. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

new look for a new start.

my new hair's not really bad, i can still tie it up and still make myself look like the old me, with a little help of some clips though.

dad and his friends are downstairs, singing their hearts out. it's almost a week after his surprise party.. and he's still partying. haha.

i'm getting tired. my life's become a routine.

oh. i didn't attend my first period today. i went to church in the morning so that i won't have to go there tonight.

mmm. there's really nothing to talk about.

blessed be those who shall help me in our physics exam tomorrow.

to you, kuya/ate (okay, he's gay) who cut my hair last night, thank you for making me look so bleeping weird.

everytime i feel better, i see/read/hear something that makes me feel bad.. again.

there's already too much bleeping drama in my life.

something happened here yesterday. people were yelling, shouting at each other and had teary eyes and unheard sides and all that. but it ended with a loving hug and forgiveness. that's what you call LOVE.

i don't want to post anything about it, it's a little personal for those who were involved.

anyway, i thought of "breaking up" with one of my most special friends last night. it's just that i learned something from my parents about some friends being bad influences to us. she's my friend for years now and i'm pretty sure that being with her for a long time now has something to do with who i am now. she's always been at my side and i have no regrets being friends with her. yeah, "think before you act". i'm glad i didn't call her last night.

i feel stupid right now. i'm tired of posting crap.

my parents are the best in this world.

enough said.

QUINTERO did not come to class today. what a happy day for 1-SpS students.

uh, i wrote a song. i keep on telling them that it's for my sister because she's just broken up with her boyfriend last friday night. mmm. but actually, it's for myself. haha! call me selfish, i don't care. haha.

i so love my family. they are soooo supportive.

kuya will drive me to LRT everyday because his work starts at 7 and my class starts at 7:30. yay.

my life is STILL a bleeping routine.

Life is a wheel, with ups and downs. Not just downs.

i went to school at 7. i didn't know sir jurado's not coming.

me, mam roxie and erika went to the pacific to play o2jam but it was down so we played cs strike.

10am class, psych, gravity pulled my eyelids down and shut my eyes.

11am class. physics. he gave us our quiz. i got bleep over 50.

a happier day for us, 1-SpS students. QUINTERO, for the second time in this week, did not come to class. the sub, sir oliver, only asked us to give a grade for the assigned reporters for today, then he left. we just GAVE the grade, they did not even report! so after giving the grade, mam roxie and faith went with me to Pacific (a computer shop at Dapitan) to play O2jam. then we went to the billiard hall because our classmates were there. i was really surprised to see erika, marie, even jaimee at the billiard hall. haha. i played with francis, jaimee and vj.

we were late for our 2pm class. MATHEMATICS. haha. miss chan and the class were already praying when we came to class. she handed out our quizzes last monday then asked those who passed the quiz to leave the room. so i went at besfren's room but it was empty to i went back to the caf with jaimee and mam roxie.

when we went back to the room, sir wigley was already there, we didnt have class, we only evaluated our teachers. it's payback time.

i went straight at home to sleep. zzzz... then i suddenly remembered that i have to send my physics homework to erika, do my english homework, review for a quiz in filipino and logic.

kabam.

aren't people tired of crying? hahaha. there's so much more in this world.

kailan kaya tayo magbabati?
kailan kaya ulet ako gigising ng di problema ung una kong naiisip?
kailan kaya ako makakatawa ng buo?
kailan kaya gagaan loob ko?
kailan kaya maayos to?

maaayos pa ba to?
magbabati pa kaya tayo?
gigising pa ba ako ng masaya at walang iniisip?
makakatawa pa ba ako?
maaalis ba ung bigat sa loob ko?

ano to kanta? di ah.

drama ever. haha. pero that's exactly what i think of everyday. as in walang patid. EVERYDAY.

i should have said yes when you asked me if we could just be friends. really. i'm sorry. haha. MAGBATI NA KASI TAYO EH. hala demanding. de joke lang. hahaha.

mabasa mo man to o hindi, dumalaw ka man dito sa tabulas ko o hindi, bahala na. pero please isa pang chance. just to make things right. everyone deserves a second chance naman diba? i am so sorry. kung mapilit. hirap kasi eh. so please, give me a second chance.

Lord, help please.